Daily Archives

March 26, 2018

If I Could Change One Thing

By | Be Genuine, Be Honest, Invoke Passion

Ok. So if I were actually granted this wish, I might choose a different one. But right now I am super fired up, which is code for pissed off. I have done a lot of self improvement work, and one thing I feel like I’ve changed, is limiting the amount of time I spend obsessing over what other people think of me. Everyone cares about this to a certain extent, and we should. But if other people’s opinions, approval and/or acceptance of us becomes a ruling force in our lives, we stand to live a very unhappy existence.

News flash. You (and me and all of us) can’t control other people. I know you may be thinking to yourself you can, but ultimately you can’t. You can’t control what other people think or feel about you. You can’t control how other people (adult folks anyway) act or don’t act, what they do or don’t do etc.

When I think about all the time in my life I have spent worrying about this person or that person, it is crazy. It took getting hit by a car (literally) to let go of some of this. I simply don’t have the time or energy or health to put into that obsession with other people. You either like me, or you don’t. You want to be my friend or you don’t. I want to be your friend or I don’t. You want to work for me, or you don’t. Basically, the toxic people had to go – either out of my life completely, or at least out of my mind. Sorry, toxic peeps don’t get my energy or my emotions any more. I’ve taken away your rights to control my mind.

However, there are times I still find myself letting toxic people sneak back in my life somehow. I cant even hold them responsible. They are toxic and don’t get it. Most toxic people have a common trait – they are so self-obsessed they don’t even know they are toxic. They believe their problems in life, relationships, work (basically any and all areas of their life) are someone else’s fault. Basically, anyone else in the world, except them, are to blame. I’ve got news for you, if you run across more than one asshole in a day, you may want to check yourself. I feel sorry for these people actually, as if everyone else is to blame, you will be perpetually unhappy. Your life will be full of drama, chaos and disatisfaction. If you have energy for that sh*t, then keep on keeping on, as they say. Whoever they is. People do say that right?

Today I found myself totally fired up by someone. Even worse, it was like a 20-word text. I completely lost my sh*t. My body temperature rose, I started gritting my teeth, I typed and erased like 80 replies to the text, and then proceeded to act super mature by yelling and screaming a bunch of not-so-nice insults. I even screenshotted the text and sent it to a friend. Cause I’m that mature – and don’t you know I have suffered injustice and you should all feel bad for me?

I have a lot of people in my life who love and care about me. They accept me for who I am. They love, or at least put up or ignore, my crazy. They don’t make me feel bad. We mutually support each other. They enhance my life and I try my damn best to enhance theirs. So why, oh why, do I let that one person, who doesn’t matter one bit, get me all worked up? Because I am human. I am not perfect. I let my character defects creep up. I can ignore the dozens of people I care about and focus all my time and energy on that one pain in my ass – or a I can get mad, say a bunch of bad words, write this BLOG and let it go.

You should too. Free yourself from the crippling grip of those people who suck your energy. Let them go. I assure you they will be fine. They will just glom on to that next person who will tolerate their stickiness. I can pretty much guarantee it.