Bonnie Tyler’s Guide to Grammar

SoapBoxSample Bonnie Rosales

Turn around bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart, and I need you now tonight… For those of you who just sang this, I warn you now, it will not go away for days. It is now stuck in your head. You’re welcome.

Why am I talking about this 1983 hit song and what does it have to do with grammar? Listen, there are millions of articles, online classes, books, memes, etc. about grammar. If you are on social media, you know the majority of people don’t even know the basics. I have a visceral reaction to the misuse of grammar on social media. Read the comments on a controversial topic and you will get your fair share of grammar incompetency first hand.

I have all but given up hope that people will ever get the proper use of the basics such as their, there and they’re. And there is even less of a possibility that the human race will ever understand plural and possessive. I have seen thousands of “fights” on Facebook where one person insults another saying “Your an idiot”, only to be rebutted with “try taking a basic grammar class. You’re the idiot.” They don’t typically say idiot, but I’m trying to swear less.

Anyway, back to Bonnie Tyler. I have actually considered unfriending people over the use of “apart” and “a part”. It is especially annoying when it is business people. Time and time again, I see things like “I am so blessed to be apart of your life.” – well if you hate the person, and are NOT part of their life, then great. But if you really are happy to be a part of their life, you are saying the opposite.

For clarity, I have provided the definitions for you:

Apart — /əˈpärt/ (of two or more people or things) separated by a distance; at a specified distance from each other in time or space

A Part — /ā pärt/ a piece or segment of something such as an object, activity, or period of time, which combined with other pieces makes up the whole

Why does this tiny space between the a and the p occupy such a large space in my brain? Because this tiny space completely changes the meaning of the sentence. And most people are totally unaware of it.

For most of you, you can just eliminate apart all together. Unless you are some sort of romantic whose heart aches when you are apart from your lover. Or if you are a basket case and your life is falling apart. Or if you have anger issues and plan to tear someone apart. For the most part, humans want to be a part of – not apart from.

So what does this have to do with Bonnie Tyler? Well, when you hear that fabulous song, and it inevitably gets stuck in your head, let it be a reminder to you of the proper usage of a part and apart.