If you’ve ever worked in Market Research, you’ll understand. If you’ve ever worked in any industry where you have to make people happy, you’ll understand. This is my Top Ten, all-time favorite, most absurd respondent requests.
10. You should do a survey about my cats.
We’re working on something even better. A survey for cats. We have to train them how to read first.
9. Please delete my address and my name and all the information you turned over to the NSA.
Just for the record, we don’t share our respondent’s information with anyone. Even if they ask us really nicely.
8. Can you make your online surveys compatible with Windows 95?
This request was from 2016.
7. I cannot remember my username, password, why I contacted you, or who you are. Why aren’t you helping me?
I’m guilty of losing/forgetting my account passwords all.the.time. But usually I can remember why I got the account in the first place.
6. What about something for the [random bigotry] member? Thanks Obama.
Obama told me to tell you, “You’re Welcome.”
5. Where’s the $100 dollars I was promised for the a five-minute survey about my Rock, Paper, Scissors strategy?
Let’s settle this like adults. I’ll Rock, Paper, Scissors you for it.
4. Instead of a Walmart gift card sent to my registered email address, can you please submit a Western Union payment to this totally legit IP-masked Russian website?
Not sketchy at all.
3. I don’t have to tell you my age, location, or gender, and I ignore your emails. Why wont you send me surveys I can get paid for?
Usually our clients want to know who’s opinion they’re paying for.
2. You’re just a robot anyway so why should I believe you?
In my experience robots are very trustworthy. They haven’t been programmed to lie. Yet.
1. How am I supposed to complete your surveys if I don’t lie?
So you won’t stop lying until we stop asking questions? Noted.
In the mood for more ridiculous Top Ten Lists? Check out Top Ten Bizarre Client Requests and Top Ten Most Ridiculous Respondent Email Addresses.